Developing Usable Experiences

The Wisdom of No Escape

November 29th, 2009 8:39 pm —  41 views

sun-behind-meHowever painful, discomforting, or frustrating something is, from such situations is born opportunity to become stronger, more resilient, maybe wiser. There is the saying often voiced in times of strife, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” I think I used it in a previous post. I’d like to take it back.

Thinking about it now, it seems a stupid thing to say. It isn’t always true. An innocent friend pointed out; sometimes what doesn’t kill you just makes you weaker. There is truth in that. Imagine having a lung removed. It might not kill you, but you’d definitely be weaker. You wouldn’t be able to run very far or climb multiple flights of stairs. Your body would be weaker. This might be an extreme example, but it illuminates the meaninglessness of a saying.

I read a book some time ago from which the title of this post is taken. Written by a Buddhist monk, the title in full is “The Wisdom of No Escape and the Path of Loving Kindness.” In this book, Pema Chodron makes the point that working with obstacles is life’s journey. If we are to be truly awake, aware, even enlightened, one has to realize that what one has to deal with in life is normal. Surprises or not. Like a beloved pet being stricken with cancer. These events are what make up life. Obstacle or not, it is what happens. Regardless of the selfish pain one might feel, the sun will rise again tomorrow. You rise with it.

There is no escape. Whether you’ve lost your job, a loved one, or are facing a situation you never thought possible, there is no escape. This is it. Whatever it is. Realizing that there is no escape means accepting a situation. However that doesn’t mean giving up or giving in. Acceptance is a step necessary to move forward. You find another job, get more education, find another to love, or approach a situation from a different perspective. That is how you move forward.

I’m not sure what wisdom is exactly. Maybe it’s taking the stairs slowly when you’re missing a lung. Maybe it’s realizing that things don’t stay the same forever. Maybe it’s accepting that your hair isn’t going to grow back, you aren’t going to get younger, and you don’t have to voice everything that comes to your mind. Maybe it’s accepting that a sympathy card that isn’t personally signed is still a sympathy card.

I’m not looking to escape. I’m not looking for wisdom. I’m just getting up every day, trying to pay attention to things. Trying to be aware that this is life and I’m lucky to be experiencing it.

Image: This is a picture I took of myself entering an elevator in the parking garage off Maynard in Ann Arbor. The sun was bright, shining in a window facing the elevator on the 6th floor.

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One Response to “The Wisdom of No Escape”

  1. Dawn on December 3rd, 2009 1:33 pm

    Wisdom is everywhere. We just have to notice it. You do.

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