The Moonlighting Student

Holidays approach, family valued

December 20th, 2009 9:24 pm —  24 views

For generations families have been celebrating holidays in varying ways with amounts of tradition. Over the years you meet at different places, see familiar and new faces, chat, eat, drink beer, then you go back to your life.

As the years pass, more faces become familiar and you can’t help but notice the maturing. The weathered eye, the momentary aching gaze, the grin, the laugh, the sigh. The innocence, the expectation, the ignorance. You feel it yourself. Experience it daily. The maturing, the learning, the realizations.

So easy to go wandering in memory, remembrance, reflection. Blog posts centered on reflection make you want to puke.

It’s not like you aren’t trying to think of new ways to approach the world, to voice things in a way that unites, encourages, stabilizes, secures. All the while knowing such a thing can’t be voiced. Realization adds a few more yards to the long stare of your weathering eye. You press on.

“The Mad Men held captive the minutes,
where elsewhere the minutes fly past.
Minutes held captive are thick and warm,
gone are the minutes of last.”
~Brown

The large black and white cat roams the dark basement, meowing loudly. He’s done this a number of times when I’ve been down here writing and W has retired for the evening. Maybe he’s calling for me. Personally I think he’s asking for something to eat, but I say this because I know him.

Holidays are both bitter and sweet. Years of learning tradition you wanted away from, only to later recognize values not seen with un-weathered eye.

I went to church today. Sat among people who have sat together for as long as I’ve been alive. The guy right next to us had been attending on and off for years. He was retired and lived in so-and-so place nearby. He smiled a lot, wore a nice suit. High above three wings of people she stood and addressed us with scripture and a twitch.

Then read of birthdays, graduations, sickness and broken hips shared earlier from those in the wings. I could have said something about Bailey, but that might have been weird. Sharing of good and bad news I imagine for encouragement and caring later. As we were leaving a young boy set up some drums, a couple guys pulled out a guitar and bass, and a women at a piano led them through the learning of some tune.

Olivia was christened I think. I’m not sure what it was called but she wore a special dress made for round cheeked 9 week old girls. People being friendly to each other because they believe it will help them reach heaven. Maybe it does.

Only a couple weeks before winter semester starts. I’m ready for the punishing it will give me. I’m cultivating the ability to endure weathering. I think it’s something we all do.

Image: Ozzie just after meowing and making noise with bells. Maybe we can get a picture of him with a jingle-jangle of toys he carries around the house, all noisy like at night.

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