The Moonlighting Student

Wrapping up Summer

August 25th, 2009 6:48 am —  11 views

In two weeks classes start again. This will be the fourth time in a row I’ve had to prepare myself for the rigor of academic life. This will be my final year of graduate school and I’m still excited about going.

When summers are sandwiched between semesters they have a sweeter taste. Maybe it has to do with them being even more finite, defined, encapsulated, than they would be normally. Maybe it’s just an illusion.

For this summer we’ve done our camping trip, went to a concert, had some lazy days, golfed a lot, visited family up north, and went to a Tigers game. It’s been fun if not somewhat predictably routine. There are nice things about routine. Having experienced something before it’s easier to approach with less stress, better planning, and a quieter mind.

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately on how I do things…namely in my day to day work as a developer. Nearly every day I trip over things that, had I been more aware, involved, and prepared, I wouldn’t be tripping over. Whenever that happens I zoom out and think about the big picture, look for patterns of behavior, and try to imagine what I could do different knowing what I know now. The nature of reflection I suppose.

Like now, thinking about classes starting in a couple weeks, I’m thinking about what I’ll be studying1, checking to see what books I need to buy, reviewing assignments, syllabus, etc. I’m looking forward to the routine, narrow focused, single-spinning-plate type mentality that classwork entails.

And with that summer starts to wrap up. Already the hints of autumn. Soon cool nights and falling leaves as the frigid hand of winter reaches toward Michigan.

Image: Taken on the shores of Lake Huron just east of Mackinac City at Mill Creek campground. W. is wandering the shores looking for cool rocks or something. I was trying to take artsy pictures of it all.

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  1. 1. Database Application Development, 2. Graphic Design [↩]

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Pattern that is not pattern

August 3rd, 2009 6:52 am —  14 views

While studying religion and philosophy in college, the subject of destiny was a puzzling one. At the time, and for the most part even now, I rejected the notion of predetermined destiny. It’s taken me years of thought and reflection to recognize that things aren’t so black and white.

The pattern that is not a pattern is action without a long term plan. Such actions rely more specifics of circumstance to govern outcome than choreography. While curiosity and motivation can affect specifics of circumstance, having a plan is very different. Having a plan recognizes long term over short term.

This type of thinking has me wondering whether those who hold that we have a destiny are in their own way planning and as such following a more narrow path by intention. In which case, perhaps destiny seems a more fitting an explanation for what happens.

But I don’t really believe that. I’ve seen how cause and effect can produce amazing and unpredictable results. I’ve also seen people set long term goals and achieve them. Even when those goals seemed almost impossible.

We are all born into unique circumstances. Short and long term choices of those around us also influence our actions. To some degree there is predictability, thanks to the convincing power of statistics and study. We are who we are and where we are as a result of the accumulation of our actions. Where we go from here is influenced but not governed by the inertia of our past. For some reason I keep reminding myself of this.

Is the act of seeking a pattern to live by a form of pattern or wasted time? Is there a grand plan for all of humanity or are we making our own destiny simply because we can?

Heavy thoughts for an early Monday morning, but dreams and events of late have me pondering life. It gets complicated so fast.

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