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Where does exploration lead?
Those of you that have watched a lot of Batman1 will know what I’m talking about. There were a number of very deep episodes of the cartoon that illuminated the persistence and determination of “The Detective” as he was called by Ra’s al Ghul. Of all the comic heroes that I’ve read and cartoons I’ve watched, Batman is the one that stands out as the smartest, most practical, and flexibly logical of them all. He defines himself by circumstance while never forgetting who he is and what he’s doing.
Why am I thinking about Batman two days before the new year? A few reasons. One (not a good one) is that I had a picture of my favorite coffee cup taken a few days ago. Another is that I watched some Batman cartoons tonight. And last, I’ve been thinking about the new year and how I can work toward defining myself and my career. This is taking some detective work, some exploration you might say.
I have a sense of where my education and profession are leading me but am struggling (as I should be) with articulating it. And so I’m resorting to detective like analysis and creative exploration of avenues not thoroughly traveled. I need to exercise the creative detective, the loquacious speaker, the mad scientist, the crazy artist, the engaged and enthusiastic nerd being developed like a pearl inside this shell of my skull2. Think about what a pearl is after all. What a way to deal with an irritant.
So part of this exploration that has led me to return to school has also led me to where I am today. After pondering for some time how I might go about defining my role as it relates to my professional and academic life, I decided to take a stab at merging the two into one using my domain, www.Interspike.com. Lots of work to do, but my exploration at school and experience at work have given me some direction. We’ll see where it goes. Thanks to Rands for the inspiration; though he has no idea.
Image: Once again, this is a picture of my favorite coffee cup that W. got me years ago. Not only is it cool because of the comic book heroes on it, but the grip is big enough to fit just the right number of fingers to hold the mug comfortably. Yeah, I can be picky like that with things that don’t really matter to anybody else.
------------------------------------------------------------------------ I’m referring to the animated series that aired a number of years ago. [↩]
- But honestly, don’t you think there are millions of pearls that are never found ? [↩]
The new year and renewing focus
Yes indeed, a new year is just around the bend. Does this mean anything? Sure, it’s a new year and all that, the calendar changes and such. Besides all that, does it mean anything? January 1st is just another day after all.
Sure, just another day. Just another year. Just another life1. It is easy to see how one might recognize the start of a new year as an opportunity. Though nothing more than a calendar event, psychologically it carries some weight. Even if it after a few months the newness of the year starts to wear off, it doesn’t matter. The start of a new year is a good time to sit back and renew and gather one’s focus.
In sitting meditation one is instructed to count their breaths2. Terribly boring yes, but that isn’t the point. Well, it sort of isn’t, but not the point I’m aiming at. When one is sitting there, counting their breaths, the mind will naturally wander and pretty soon you forget that you should are trying to count. Should this happen, start over with you counting and keep breathing. That’s all.
Sitting at my kitchen table this morning enjoying a bagel and egg sandwich that W. made for breakfast, we talked about new year’s resolutions and whether they are even worth thinking about. Which got me thinking. I’m still thinking actually, thinking about what is behind me and what lies ahead. Will resolutions make an appearance? Maybe. Seems like they are just about establishing one’s focus.
In order to focus on something you need to be aware of your surroundings of course. Focus without context is not focus. In order to pay close attention to something you have to pay attention to everything, be aware of how your focus fits into the scheme of things. Bad things happen if you don’t.
I could go into some ramblings on context now, go on about where I see myself in life and how I fit into the world, that sort of thing. Maybe wax philosophical on my goals and what I’m doing with my time, how I think about things, who I worry about and empathize with, the happiness I see and the suffering that accompanies it. But I won’t. Not tonight.
It’s already late. W. is likely asleep and I’m close behind. I don’t have any homework, nothing to read, no papers to write. My desks are covered with watercolor supplies and cloudy jars of water. Three practice pictures sit on my bookshelf, reminding how much I have to learn. Twelve months, twelve serious attempts at creating something of beauty with pigment and water. Stay tuned.
Image: This is a picture I took driving back from Chelsea last week after going out to lunch with W. I like the composition with the leafless trees and the curving road. Not a bad shot taken on the spur of the moment.
------------------------------------------------------------------------ If you believe in rebirth that is. This is a very interesting subject I might add. [↩]
- Counting it typically from 1 to 10 but the counting is just a trick to focus the mind on nothing. [↩]
And so this is Christmas…
As far as Christmas goes, this was like the last few. We get gifts for each other that don’t fit, weren’t what we asked for, or just aren’t right, and end up having to take a bunch of stuff back. As a result of this, we tend to be sullen and disappointed most of the day wondering why we even do it. We try to remind ourselves that it isn’t about the material things but about being together, about spending time with your family. Well, except we aren’t with our family. But we did call them. We had a couple short conversations that interrupted family gatherings and noisy gift exchanges. But we called. That’s something.
Okay, so maybe I’m not that crazy about Christmas. The last two have been particularly challenging for both of us, with me being in school and not having much time to contribute to preparations. Some years I’m better about such matters, about planning and picking gifts. This year I could have done my shopping online like I was encouraged to do. A few years ago I did that and the results were pretty much the same. This year I figured I’d try picking stuff out that I could see, that I thought W. might like. Turns out I wasn’t so good at that this time. She deserves better and that means me not putting things off. I can’t use school as a lame excuse.
So this is Christmas. We watched a couple movies, had left-overs for dinner, and tried not to be grumpy with each other all day. I spent a little time throughout the day dabbling with some watercolors that W. got me, preparing for my twelve part watercolor series that will take place throughout next year. I’m doing another exercise from a beginner watercolor book. It isn’t turning out that good but I’ll get better with practice. Just have to keep on keeping on.
Merry Christmas everybody.
Image: This is our decorated tree with gifts underneath it now waiting to be taken down and packed away. Oh the joy of Christmas.
Christmas Eve, Eve
It’s a Sunday and tomorrow is Christmas eve. When I was little I would be so excited that I would pretty much be unable to contain myself. But alas. I’m older now and though I feel this conditioned pull of Christmas and it’s bounty of gifts I was taught to expect, it just isn’t the same. Not that this is a bad thing really. I know what to expect and realize more and more that it is just another day.
Because seriously, I’m not a religious person1. Christmas does not hold a powerful meaning such that I’m just swept up in a reverent awe. It is a day of legend and myth and if you do your research, probably not at all what most Christians in this country have been taught. No point in going there…hard to prove any story as its told. If a belief brings about compassion and kindness toward other beings it can’t be that bad.
W. and fidgeted around the house today then headed out to wander some local shops. We ended up having brunch at this really great restaurant in Chelsea called The Common Grill. If you’re from around here, you know what I’m talking about. Deeelish.
After that we rented some movies and relaxed the rest of the afternoon. I made a yummy stir fried rice for dinner with baby corn, water chestnuts, bean sprouts, tiny shrimp, petite peas, chopped carrots, garlic, and Basmati rice. Turned out pretty good. Now I’m off to bed, hoping to sleep better than last night. I got up at 4:30 cause I couldn’t sleep. Whats with that?
Image: This is me posing with a glass vase filled with rocks and a lit salt rock that my brother got W. and I as a gift. It’s a pretty cool rock that lights up.
------------------------------------------------------------------------ Just a note, Buddhism is not a religion per se, rather a philosophy, a practice. There are no gods or divine beings in Buddhism…though some cultures have deities and such. [↩]
Friday Morning
Here it is, the Friday before the holiday vacation. I’m off all next week then the next couple days after that. Then school starts again but I’m not going to think about that…yet.
Yesterday afternoon was the team holiday outing. We drank a few beers, played some darts then shot some pool. It was nice and we all had a pretty good time. The team dynamic is better than it ever has been. We have a good group of people with very different but interesting personalities. Makes going to work less of a drag.
In the evening W. busted out her stamping stuff and we proceeded to work on handmade gifts cards to go with presents for our friends, teammates, and managers. It was kind of fun. Stamping is alright but I enjoyed coloring things in more.
This is some pretty exciting stuff. You can tell I’m reachin’ for material here. It’s not like there is nothing worth sharing, quite the contrary. There is a lot going on in my head but there is this filtering action happening because this is a public blog and all that.
W. seems to be working past her cold and is sleeping a little better at night. With school taking so much of my time the last few months then all the holiday preparation and travel, we haven’t really spent any time together. She has handled virtually all of the holiday work herself and is ready to relax. Hopefully she knows how much I appreciate all the works she’s done. She is hard working and considerate.
Image: The lights of downtown Ann Arbor, taken two weeks ago.